One year after

Again the tears are rolling on my cheeks tonight.

Miss u, Yah..

You are my best bodyguard who always made me feel safe. You drove me on my first day of kindergarten. Felt insecure, I didn't want you to leave. I looked outside the class once in a while to make sure you were still there. When you thought you could leave me, you quickly walked to the car and went to work. But unfortunately I soon realized you were not standing at your place, so I ran outside the class and cried very loud. Coincidently your car passed by the school gate; I shouted your name and ran after you. That day you had to absent from your work. I'm sorry, Yah. 

Do you remember how I came home barefoot? I left my shoes outside the car when we took a rest on our way to the location where I should perform a dance with my friends. After that you had to race to work since your office was at the other part of the city. I was the only child without adult companion. It was my friend's mom who dressed me up. You must didn't know how lonely I was. The event ended at noon and my feet burnt of heat. I was so upset, but I know you had tried the best you could to let me participate in the event. 

Sometimes you picked me up from my English course. Once I asked you not to go home straight away. We went to the nearest shopping mall to buy Ibu a birthday gift with the money I saved from my pocket money. I was so happy and proud of myself. You must be proud of me too, right? 

As a teenager, my world was spinning around my friends. Yet you never forbid me of anything I was interested in. You let me continued my guitar course even though the house's economy was rather short. You trusted me and I tried not to break it. 

When those 17th birthday party invitations from my classmates come, instead of prohibited me, you drove me, waited until I was ready to go home and picked me up. You accompanied me whenever and where ever I had to go for competition my school sent me. You supported me with everything you had. Never doubted me as I took the path I am right now. 

You read the book I read and we talked about the story. You listened the songs I was listening and even remembered the singers. I often tested you when the song was being played at some store or on the radio. You know, at those times, I felt you understood me as a friend. Thank you for guiding me during my growth as a child, teenager, even until my adulthood. 

You are my best partner in discussing any topic we came across at that moment. Heavy or light, anything. Politics, education, economy, anything. It was always interesting to have a discussion with you. I miss those moments when we had to share the newest morning newspaper. 

Actually I miss everything about you. 

I miss your jokes. I miss your comments. I miss your compliments and critics. I miss your stubbornness. I miss your touch. I miss your voice. 

I miss you.

I often criticized you, but I now I miss that too. 

I know you were worrying about me on my back. I have to say I was touched. You are my father after all.

Thank you for teaching me about kindness, sincerity, humbleness, forgiveness, honesty, wisdom. Thank you for showing me the meaning of passion and long-life learning. I will treasure those. 

Last but not least, thank you for letting me sleep on the co-pilot seat while you were driving. You knew my running-vehicle-sleeping habit the best. 

I sent my prayers for you always. 

- One year after -